Rambling Post #7: My brain is on overdrive.

It's exactly 2 weeks today that I pack up and leave everyone and everything to go live at the other side of the world and do what is probably the scariest and most daring thing I have ever done in my 21 years. In the past week, it has slowly started to dawn on me that this is actually happening. Before the new year it was just something that will eventually happen to me next year, and it felt like it was ages away. But 2016 is already flying by and in 14 days I will be calling another country home.

I used to hate going to town by myself or sitting alone in a public place (which incidentally is what i'm doing now). So to go from being such a socially awkward, shy and comfort-zone friendly teenager to an actual proper grown up adult moving to a different continent by herself I think shows how much i've changed in the past few years.

So as it crept into February, anxiety started to creep in. I don't really suffer from anxiety, don't get me wrong there are a lot of things that make me feel nervous and unsure but the only thing that really gives me panic attacks are confined spaces (yay for a 22 hour flight). As a result, a million questions keep whizzing through my mind.

What if I don't make friends? What if there's a spider in my loo and I don't know how to get rid of it? What if I get the wrong flight and end up in Zimbabwe? What if I miss everyone so much I don't enjoy myself? What if the Australians think my accent is weird? What if the Australians just think i'm weird? What if they don't let me in the country because there's a slight bit of mud on my shoes? What if I get eaten by a Kangaroo? What if I don't get the hang of cooking and die of starvation? What if the people that live in my building are weird?

And every time I just need to stop myself and think;

What if I meet the most amazing friends? What if I don't encounter any deadly creatures? (Unlikely) What if I come back with a tan? What if I have the most amazing time and absolutely love the whole thing?

I think the main thing I need to keep telling myself is yeah, it's probably going to be upsetting at first and you're going to miss everyone. But then you'll settle in and you'll make friends and you'll go on days to the beach and you'll experience new things and you'll be enjoying this new culture so much that before you know it June will be over and you'll be back in the miserable weather of Britain.

As usual with these rambling posts, there's not really anything people reading it can take from it, I just like to vent sometimes and this is the best way I know how!
𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕝